Before We Begin …
As I read 50 Shades of Grey I constantly find myself switching to a much better book. The only way to get through the mess is for me to make fun of it as I hobble on. For me, there are good books that I can finish within a snap, and then there are good books that take more than a few months to read … Because there’s a lot to digest.
And then there’s 50 Shades of Grey. This is going to take a year, because it’s bad.
And that is precisely the reason why I rented the movie.
Grin and bear it.
Thoughts on 50 Shades of Grey–the Movie
There’s a lot about the movie–a movie that is about nothing, I should add–that bothers me.
Here are seven things about the movie (out of a thousand):
- When I watched the movie I realized that there’s no substance in the book and that the book did not have to be a 500 pages long. I’m a masochist.
- Anna could have been replaced by a dish rag.
- The first half of the movie was hilarious! The second half made me mad.
- The sex scenes were just weird.
- Jamie Dornan, who acts as Christian Grey, plays the character as if he’s unhinged (which Christian Grey is, to be fair) and it comes off as hilarious and strange.
- I can tell that the two leads hate each other. I think it is more subtle, though, and if I hadn’t heard of this before I wouldn’t have known to look for it.
- The people behind the movie took a turd, and polished it until it sparkled. The problem is that 50 Shades of Grey is a turd.
Near the end of the movie I stopped watching. It was too much for me. I wish I had more to say, but the truth is that I don’t.
Before the Party …
At this point I feel as if almost everything about the movie/books has been said already. Often I find myself questioning if there is even a party to go to
And then it suddenly dawns on me: what if there’s an alternate reality where 50 Shades of Grey is good? Would it even be 50 Shades of Grey?
I like dark, twisted fantasies. I like liches and necromancers. I like strong female characters as much as I like strong male characters …
I’m going on a trip to another dimension. Wanna join me?
To be continued …