I live inside of your computer. Auto-correct bends to my very will. That sentence you slaved over, the one you re-read twenty times, the one you edited 15 times until it was perfect? Well, I changed the spelling of one of the words. The spell check didn’t catch it. Take a look if you will. I promise that you’ll love it!
Surprise!
I am the Typo Gremlin! Your one and only, driving you insane during the early hours of the morning down till the late hours of the night! No amount of coffee will make it stop. Nothing you do will make me leave: not a hard reset, nothing. Don’t take my word for it though. Go ahead, go and take your computer in. Pay the man’s wages.
I’m a benefactor.
Of my own amusement!
That essay you wrote, the one with the clever title? It just got a little scandalous! Can you imagine how boring your existence would be without me? You can at least say (without a doubt) that someone does pay attention to you. The fact that I am neither friend nor family is another matter. And then there’s the question of payment. I’m never recognized for my hard work, so a little dollar here and there would be nice. Just slip it under the door mat and I’ll help myself.
I’ve got some friends who’re looking for a place to stay… I’m not saying that I invited them in, but they were the ones who ate your left-over pizza. Not that I would know, because they’re not living in your attic at this very moment.
Also, they just wanted me to let you know that you have an interesting taste in movies!
With love,
The Typo Gremlin!
